I‘ve been thinking about something recently. About the fact that dark and somber elements sometimes have an inviting effect on people. And I started to wonder as to the ‘why’. I’ll try to figure out an answer to that question. This will of course be built on my own experiences and reception of these elements and their effect on me and my psyche.

I’ve witnessed many storylines where characters turn their backs on the seeming Good towards the Dark. You have it with Anakin Skywalker, Sasuke Uchiha, Elena Gilbert, Jonathan Van Ness. Just to name a few that just pop up randomly in my mind. These people or characters may not all stayed within the Dark, but they all dove into it at least once. They experienced a cut, so deep that not only unsettled their faith in the world they’ve known, they’ve put their confidence into, but more tore it apart from their soul. If there’s no more hope to go for, if there’s no future to believe in, everything loses its meaning. Being Good, the Good feels like a childish fake version of a cruel reality. That mask has fallen down. Now everything seems clear. The natural law of power, eat or be eaten, no more pity, no more mercy, no more masquerading.

Hurting or being hurt, there’s no more difference.

It’s a destructive way of thinking and acting, leaving a battlefield of hurt emotions, crippled bonds, numb souls.

No pleasant picture, isn’t it? So why are we then attracted by such a possible madness? Why do we flirt with it from time to time, even giving in some cases?

Is it about breaking the rules? About non-conformity? About development and evolution? Passing all possible stages of our beings and experiencing all possible realities? To get a taste of it, not only theoretically but for real? To find out what suits us, our likes and dislikes? Are those experiences a necessary or simple a useful tool for it?

If it was just about us alone, I’d say ‘I do not care’. People shall live the life they chose. But giving in into the Dark mostly effects more than just your body and soul alone. It touches on your bonds, might even rip right through the middle. That’s the moment when I say ‘This is not okay’.

That’s how I work. If I have bonds with you, letting you drift into the Dark will not be an option. It’d never find my approval. Never. I’m a caring soul. Empathetic. I care about my bonds. So, if you already have one with me, beware.

But back to the thrill. The luring. The attraction.

I know the feeling. I’ve experienced it myself. Everyone does.

What’s the promising arguments of the Dark? Why are we even listening to it? Is there no Good, no reasonable voice arguing against it, on the other side of our shoulder? Is it less powerful, less noisy, less repetitive? Why do we tend to get numb on that ear, turning our head towards something we were raised to ‘stay away from’? Is it the temptation of the forbidden? Heard about that story before… No bad ending though. You get a lecture and wisdom, no, sorry: knowledge in return. No that bad of a deal, in my opinion.

But is it worth the hurt and pain? Maybe ‘is it worth’ is the wrong way of phrasing it, the wrong question. Like in ‘no pain, no gain’. Maybe it IS necessary to make hurtful experiences to move forward, to evolve. Maybe facing and stepping into the Dark is people’s way of the need to trigger something? Why? Because they are stuck? Stuck in a position they are uncomfortable with? Or too comfortable? Sometimes, too much comfort can be uncomfortable.

But what’s for sure is the need of CHANGE. People seek a change of their status quo. For whatever reason. Change the pain, the stalemate, the boredom. Change, evolve, turn it into something: different.

It IS breaking the rules. The rules of society, or your relationship, of your own values. It’s a breaking free and coup, anarchistic. But the non-conform behavior and action permit to raise questions. Questions about the so called established systems. Is there a Good, is there an Evil? Doessuch dual system really exist or just in our heads? What’s its purpose, its value? What’s the point of positioning things or yourself in it? Or of being judged for choosing one or the other side? Or of explaining of as to ‘why’ you choose for one or the other?

The original question was born out of a fanfiction I read, including a sex scene between two men. It’s been a one-night-stand, one dominating the other. Nothing did happen against the clear will of one, still with no full his consent either. It was a fascinating scene on the one page, still it left a bitter taste on my tongue. It’s not that I’m too much of a daisy lovebird to not get the sense of roleplaying and well executed sex. I simply sensed that I do have my values that collided with the scene. These include to not harm people, moreover not in turn for my own pleasure! There are enough sad but real cases of people who got abused and who did not ‘disagree’ physically, or even mentally within the situation, or afterwards. Still, they got hurt. And that’s what I saw and felt, reading that scene in the fanfiction. AND STILL, I was fascinated. In a pleasant way.

So, why’s that? What’s about that scene, colliding with my values, I still believe in and I’m really conscious about. Are they less worth now? I don’t think so. Shall I be ashamed now? I don’t think so either. I’m no robot, no statue of marble. I’m made of flesh and blood, movable. My emotions are movable too, my needs are as well as my energy is. It’s not positioned in the one or the other corner. Not within any system or my body. It’s moving, tiding, vividly.

And so am I, moving, facing aspects with fascination that clearly oppose my values. Analyzing as to why, not ashamed or afraid, not looking away, but having a closer look at it. How else shall I know what it might taste like? How else shall I know what I like or dislike? Like touching the place of a freshly pulled tooth in your mouth with your tongue. With disgust and fascination at the same time. But at least knowing the salty and iron taste of it.

I don’t want to judge people who are flirting with the Dark. I don’t want to judge them when they are turning towards it. It might be a necessary experience, a process. It might be the right time, the right choice. Still, I don’t want anyone to get hurt either. And that’s when I’m torn between ‘I don’t want to you get hurt or hurt yourself’ and ‘I let you live the life you choose’. The best thing I can do is doing the ‘I’m here for you, no matter what path you are walking on’, though it’s a tough thing. Being with someone and having a bond and still letting that person be he/she has chosen is one of the most difficult things I have experienced. Mostly of course at where ourvalues collide. But it’s the most respectful thing I can do, I think.

Stay open. Don’t judge. Respect your bonds.

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So, if you read so far, I’d be eager to hear your thoughts about it. I’m always open for a share ^^